Six Things That Alex Has Learned From Six Boys Lips.

1.  From Miguel I learned that counting your steps makes it easier to find your way home, and nothing is better once  you're there than a nap...And a letter, that's bomb.
2. I was told by Mannie that comfort can come from your two thumbs rubbed against your bottom lip, and that you are never to old for a blanket.
3. From Andy I learned...that punk rock boys with emo glasses are so hot, but also emo-tional fuckwit perverts. 
4. From Owen I discovered that the only way to "dress sexy at my funeral" is to wear dickies, converse, and a strokes t-shirt, and that if you want to be a speed racer it's important to make the noises "vrrooom, vrrooooom. It's my turn. I want to go!"
5. From Ben I learned that if you order an Italian soda without cream it's a French soda, and that coffee isn't always meant to be coffee.
6. From Nick I read that " Love is only as good as it's victims. Who, like dying soldiers, live only for moments". And that there is such a thing as "bitch and wine."

Alejandra Walks in that Sexy Way

I was asked today how I pronounced my name, when I said "Alexandra", in that way that I have always said it with the perky voice and having myself be so foreign with the word that at times I'm not even really sure I pronounce it correctly. It's funny to have a name you never use except on very formal occasions or new situations, it always makes me feel awkward. I was asked  why I didn't say it "Alejandra", told that it would add a Spanish flare to me. That the name Alejandra was sexy and seductive, and made a person just sound sexy, look sexy and well be sexy. Outwardly I just giggled, laughing to myself that someone thought I could pull off that name, and inwardly I was admiring why I liked the name Alexandra it is so it could be shortened to Alex which I think defines me pretty well.

I Said I Lied

He asked me if I missed him. I said "yes." Thinking I did... But it's not his picture on my shelf, it's not his letters I long for, it's not his voice and touch that I feel pain because I don't have.

He asked me if I had forgotten about him. I said "no." Thinking that I had...I hadn't remembered when he came back to the states, or who he was with. I hadn't remembered that I was so afraid that he was leaving me.

He told me he was glad, glad I hadn't forgotten. He said people easily forget. I wanted to say I was sorry. I had forgotten and instead of feeling remorse at this moment I was feeling fear.

Fear that maybe the person I was remembering had forgotten me. After all it is so easy. All I can do at this moment is repeat words I have heard before:

Please don't forget me, it is after all so easy.

I'm Just a Curb Side Profit

I decided to tell me telling off Owen from his point of view it's only fair that way...plus my side's not that interesting its just a lot of "what the fuck that little prick is a bitch and a half" any way...

Enjoying a day of shopping to ever continue my emo/cowboy/rocker/Jason Mraz look (although when asked I claim I have never heard of him) in Double Take. It's a very satisfying store on the whole, old clothes that you know have a story and a history from somewhere that were no longer wanted, and given luck and the right day you find a perfect match to cloth your soul.

Today was not a "right day." There I was shopping for the cowboy plaid shirt that would make my life when I saw her. The girl that I spend my life trying to forget, yet somehow right when I manage to accomplish this, she calls or I run into her, or she comes up and says hi, or invites me to prom. I can't understand why she does this. When you tell someone they make you miserable you think they would leave you alone. But not this girl. I try my best for her to not see me so that she won't come up and say hello, I was pretty successful having my friends keep lookout while I hid behind a rack of men's accessories and then have them help me sneak out of the store. We walked around the block very casually, me not really talking about why I feel some need to hide from Alex, but feeling relieved to have escaped that awkward feeling nonetheless. Then to my horror at the end of the block she walks up to me in her black dickeys and green converse, past my friends and tells me: "Your and awful person, rude and inconsiderate and awful" then she starts to smile and I think it's one big joke when she says "and I'm not even kidding your an awful person." And walks away. All I can think is what the hell? What did I ever do to her?