Utopia INC.

I never fully understood why Nick Kapustinsky would not do drama at St. Mikes... Oh I understood the annoyances: No real stage, no curtain, lights that default, sound that defaults, bad sets, no props, bad actors, a nice but very loud coach.... He always thought he could and still can do better than this. That there was more to acting. Yet for me the chance to act always over powered all of this.

As long as I can remember I have had the secret urge to be in the spot light, hear the applause, live in that life. My child hood years where spent being made up characters. I constancy put on shows for my parents, wore costumes, created moves and pretend sets. All for the fun of it. I have always loved acting, its apart of me...

My desire as an actress is to be like an ephemeral moth, live for about 3 days as another person, get drawn to the light, have that be your whole focus, and then die. In the words of Dave Matthews: "when I step into the light my arms are open widely, when I step into the light my eyes searching blindly would you not like to be sitting on top of the world with your legs hanging free?"

So then why did I feel like Nick when it came to this play?
Its not that the play was bad, or anything... just my heart was somewhere else. I love all the people, please understand that, I think there is an extreme amount of talent. It sounds very selfish to say but I felt I was to big for this stage. I guess I will never fully understand why.