Understanding is a matter of relating.

Creativity was her name. I had the mailbox next to her. We were the type of people who were only momentary acquaintances. She checking her mail, me checking mine.She would say hello to me and I would immediately look down and mumble some response. She always had a letter to send and one to receive. they were beautiful letters with curly, long scrolling hand writing and pet names such as "darlinch" or "heart shaped muffin". Every day I would check my mail at the exact same time. three-ish, because I had devised that the mail man came around two and so three would give him time..providing he was late. It was 3:04 and I was checking my grey mailbox, with the red tab. Unconcerned with the surrounding neighborhood or the other boxes in the line.I was inspecting to futile mail I had received and noticing that my mail box needed to be repainted but I wasn't sure when I was going to be able to do this- with work and my cat I was a very busy individual. Inspecting the chipped door, when she walked up. In a graceful manor always bringing a lighter feeling with her, like that she lifted something away from a person. A scarf tied in her hair was the same color as her mail box a bright teal. I wondered if a person like her chose to match her mood with her box, or if she was always bright and cheerful. She must be always cheerful, her box was always full. Once Curiosity had gotten to me and I decided to peak in her box and sure enough it was filled with wonderful correspondence. From who did the letters come from? I wrote my friends and family and only received bills in return or short typed messages saying something to the effect of "having a great time..wish you were here...how is work..love..". I even went to the extent of trying a beautifully crafted letter, where I did my best to add bright colors and swirls, but as I approached the mail box I saw hers and somehow mine seemed grey and dull. It was like she was more of a person than eye was.

Good News

I am now alex a hummingbird head counselor. I rock

Beginning in the middle of time.

I have come to realize that escaping those character traits which you posses is almost impossible. I am still lonely, which is weird, because suddenly I'm not lonely in a romantic sense, that part of me is completely fulfilled. I'm lonely in another way...which I am not quite sure what that is yet.

Does your brain just feel empty of important thoughts?

There is this girl far away from where she understands. Trying new things, becoming serious. Getting old in ways that one has to. Doing school work, compromising values, understanding stress, becoming friends with it. Thinking she knows herself, thinking she hasn't changed and suddenly turning into this girl who doesn't know herself. She likes the same music, the same foods, but is missing parts of her that she didn't know she needed. She hears herself talk and it sounds empty, See's herself get dressed and wonders why she is wearing what she is. Truth comes with love, she strives to be a better person, but has forgotten what it means to her to be a better person. Unsatisfied with this life, but to afraid to change. Its hard to explain feeling a sense that something is missing...but what? I'm happy! I have a wonderful love, I just got done acting, I don't know what it is...

but I am missing something.

Talking To Me About Some 0% Interest

Jason Mraz made my day in his advice for valentines people. (go to http://www.jasonmraz.com/journal.html) He says quite possibly the best thing ever:
"Or use song lyrics…
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey. (If you’re 4.)
Hike up your skirt a little more and show your world to me. (For advanced couples only)
I adore mi amore. (I repeat: Girls love the foreign language.)
Drop it like it’s hot. "

It just made my lifetime to know that my ultimate fantasy could come true getting a card from Jason Mraz that said "drop it like its hot!" swoon...