The Horrid Word of Friend

I have come to hate the word "friend". It covers all manor of sins.

I went to coffee with Owen to catch up and see how he was. We ran into some people he knew and each time he introduced me as such "This is my friend Alex". The whole time I thought: I am not/ nor was I ever your friend. We were not friends before we dated and were certainly not friends afterwards. Why don't you call me what I am "this is my x-girlfriend Alex". Mannie and Miguel did the same thing even though I was with both of them each time I was always introduced as "a friend" if I was lucky "a really good friend". The most obvious memory is standing in a parking lot holding hands with Miguel and him introducing me to Stephanie Dallness as "a really good friend". Once again I wanted to be honest and say: cut the bullshit..She knows I'm not just a good friend, I know that, and you better know that. "Friend" has become the lazy word for the unexplained. The word for a relationship that no one wants to take the time to define. Friendship is not being with some one, friendship does not involve kissing or sex. Friendship does involve talking, it involves secrets. Friendship is a bond between people that is pure. Relationships of a romantic type are hardly ever pure.

My suggestion for words to use besides this horridly misused word of "friend":
is to use the word that discribes that person for real in your eyes. Even if it becomes as crude as "This is my hookup buddy Alex". If one is not happy admitting that to people because it sounds sleazy well then the relationship should be redefined now shouldn't it?

Of course after looking into the word "friend" (thanks to dictionary.com) I might be completely wrong. It means:

A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement: friends of the clean air movement.

Word History: A friend is a lover, literally. The relationship between Latin amcus friend and am I love is clear, as is the relationship between Greek philos friendand phile I love. In English, though, we have to go back a millennium before we see the verb related to friend. At that time, frond, the Old English word for friend, was simply the present participle of the verb fron, to love. The Germanic root behind this verb is *fr-, which meant to like, love, be friendly to. Closely linked to these concepts is that of peace, and in fact Germanic made a noun from this root, *frithu-, meaning exactly that.

However truly one might be justified in the use of the word friend when discribing a lover..I highly doubt this is understood by most people.

Seriously lets take a moment how much better it would be to say: "This is my bedfellow Alex" or "my armpiece Alex" "This is the girl I am secretly in love with, Alex.", "This is Alex the person I would be with but don't want a relationship","This is Alex a girl I used to love but now just think is creepy" probably the best "This is my well-wisher Alex".

From now on I want to be honest in my relationships and if I don't know what they are I will introduce them as "This is so and so". But do not be fooled if you are not a friend of mine I will not say that you are.