The Conversation Went As Follows:

" Look at those kids they think they are so cool what are they twelve?"

"Yeah I was certainly not a cool kid, i mean I thought I was a blue faerie in kindergarten"

"Alex, no kid who goes to CC was a cool kid"

(Phish comes on in the back ground)

"true"

Once again my summer ended with jack johnson and javier ortega...God I love summers

If My Life Was A Movie This Would be The Soundtrack (Stolen From Jess)

Opening credits: Sir Duke- Stevie Wonder
Waking up: Bang Bang - Dispatch
Average Day: Right Me Up- State Radio
First date: Love You Madly- Cake
Falling in love: Im Yours- Jason Mraz
Love scene: Get It On- T. Rex
Fight scene: L-O-V-E -Natalie Cole
Breaking up: Please Me Like You Want- Ben Harper
Getting back together: Cecilia- Simon & Garfunkel
Secret love: Weight Of The World
Life's okay: Sympathique- Pink Martini
Mental breakdown: Escape (pina colada song) - rupert holmes
Driving: Surfwax America- Weezer
Learning a lesson: Grace is Gone- Dave Matthews Band
Deep thought: The Widow- Mars Volta
Flashback: In the Summer Time- Mongo Jerry
Partying: Dirrty- Christinia Agulara
Happy dance: I Know What I Know -Paul Simon
Regreting: Sittting, Waiting, Wishing- Jack Johnson
Long night alone: Tired of Being Alone- Al Green
Death scene: When She Believes- Ben Harper
Closing credits: I will follow you into the dark- Death Cab for Cutie

I saw Owen tonight. He held my hand."I guess those types of emotions never really go away." I didn't say that. I understand better. When one person ruins your trust another restores it, in an odd way. However I still feel pretty lost on what to feel at this moment.

I do understand though why people hate each other after relationships end. Its easier. Teena is right I am easily hurt and too sensitive. This was viewed as a weakness. But its not often others just don't know what to do with a person who feels openly.

The Last Chapter Shall Be Called "How to Find What You Love Only To Constancy Loose it"

Sometimes its to hard to know where to begin.....Start with the dreaded absence of John, Teena telling me I was too weak and sensitive for him anyway, being shot at by drunk hicks, the end of camp,or my being a bridesmaid with a variable wedding date who called at 2:30 in the morning to say he couldn't come on the wrong date, his broken collar bone and all, or mention the amazing new state radio CD? Really they are all worth a mention. Nothing here has changed me as Always I'm not knowing exactly what I need. The only difference is now I might trust people a bit less. Which is truly sad on my part. So it is that time again...On to Chapter three.... "The adult Alex whose trust is on empty but hope still points to full"

-alex (the name never changes)