Jump to The left, Step to the Right

I really should become famous or apply for alot of jobs just because I like the interview process soooo much.

Child Hood Perceptions

I remember the first time I saw an actual rode runner. I was so disappointed, by its size. I had always assumed they were as tall as a small child, at least three feet tall. Because of the Warner Brother cartoons.

The first time I ordered chocolate moose I was panicked. I did not want to eat a live moose covered in chocolate, with all the hair and everything.

I could never figure out what The Budget Inn really said I thought it was always "The Bud Get Inn" you know a pun.

I thought roads were just placed on natural landscapes. I always thought it really amazing that a mountain would stop and have the perfect space for a road then be tall again

graduation today!!!!!!!!!! (Alex's runs around screaming)

last night was senior awards, and yes I "dropped it like it was hot" and suddenly was very aware of why Jesse and Ryan were so nervous as to if they did a good "drop it" or "if it was to rushed."

Bowed Timing

Kyle and David had a graduation party yesterday evening,it was a very nice party, with food and a magic show!
During the show the magician, named Elijah asked for a volunteer for this one trick. Since I was terribly smitten with him I decided to raise my hand, well to my great, elated surprise I was picked from the audience.
They said it was real simple all I had to do was just stand very still while they juggled gold, green, and red juggling pens around me. While I thought "Yeah right..Like I am going to move away from Elijah the hot magician uhuh can we say no?" They started juggling and I was perfectly fine, that part really was not scary I trusted there trick. Then Elijah said to take a bow. Well being that I am a speechie and a thespian I look for excuses to bow. So I did. It went fine they juggled around me. I bowed, I stood up. But when I stood up I glanced over at Elijah and he had this look of panicked relief on his face, and was trying to smile, but ended up laughing nervously. This made me nervous... Wondering if I had upset the hot magician in some way, you never want to see a hot magician,or any magician for that matter with a panicked face while doing a trick that you are in the middle of.
They finished and I sat down, quite content with my experience, on the whole. Then Elijah says "No one has ever bowed before...No seriously. She is a very brave soul." Giggle I'm a very brave soul...right.

Candy...Strangers...What?

Have realized the importance of child hood lessons: Today I was walking around the Community College, wasting time. When a very odd man, with very crooked teeth came up and offered me some candy. Very Random, Easter candy. (Ugh when was Easter?) Then I remembered a very important child hood lesson: Don't take candy from strangers. Decided to follow random, what seemed worthless advice, and NOT to take the candy. Much to my relief, later found similar bag of candies in the parking lot...now I can only wonder.

Drugged Out Poetry and Random Running

I got back from jogging a moment ago. I chose to run on a treadmill, because of several reasons the main one being it requires a lot less concentration on where your going, and the other in it allows me to listen to Jason Mraz without a fear of being raped. So I ran. I must admit it is a little discouraging to never really move and be so tired.

I have been trying to write poetry for my poetry book and unfortunately the majority of the stanza's just come out to be something like this:
"I am going to die alone.
Its really sad lonely.
Empty. Need help.
There's irony here somewhere here
I'm eighteen."
Which as much fun as this type of poetry is, its also really pathetic. I need to think of happy topics to write about. like bunnies or doodle bugs.
"hop hop hop
bunny
I love you.
Yeah hop bunny"
The only problem with switching moods so randomly is that people are going to be convinced I'm a lot of drugs.

I spent last night at a my grandma's which was fun. Well, when I say fun I mean, a good time with people who can't remember where they put dinner, or if they made any, or if they ate it already, and as a consequence of this ask you a million times "are you hungry?"

Oh Colorado College liked my essay so much they are going to publish part of it in there brochure...all I can think is "and I wrote what?" My fear is that they will ask me something about it and the only answer I will have will be "Do you know where the toilet is?"

From the Editor

Dear Stephanie,
I think that we work really well together, for a while I forgot how much fun doing duo was and districts reminded me of it. I love getting up there for ten minutes with you performing. We work really well together, better than we do apart. We are very complementing to each other. (which reminds me you are going to love my prom dress). You are one of those people who no matter how much I want to keep my feelings to myself, you always make me feel better to tell them to you, even if you don't always understand. I feel that I am repeating a lot of what you already know. You are my friend, I don't think we are as close as we once were, and I think that is more on my part. But I still do really like you as a person, and hope that you succeed immensely in life, according to how you view success and not how anyone else does. I am so excited that you and Susan are going to run the speech team, next year. I promise to come back and help whenever I can. (every three and a half weeks to be precise) I love you Steph and when I look back at high school you will be one of my fonder memories. So to my Bruce Willis, my Margot, my Essie, my Roxie Heart, and my Velma Kelly, but most importantly my Steph I thank you for being my friend, and am so happy that in fifth grade you asked me to play.
Alex

Seven

When I was seven my dad and I were walking around down town Santa Fe, enjoying the summer and he was talking about the Olympics and how they happen every four years. He told me that in the year 2000 they would happen, and that I would be 15 or 16, I would be in high school and driving, and that he would be 50. He told me that the Olympics would happen in the summer of 2004 and I would be eighteen and graduating and that I would be reaching the point where I didn't need my parents to take care of me, and would be ready to go out on my own. I would be going to college, and leaving high school and becoming an adult, and that I would be tall and not need to hold his hand to cross the street.

And do you know what? I didn't believe him.

COW Of The Week

Alex was accepted to Colorado College...this means something huge: No matter what I won't be in Santa Fe next year.

Something very important is about to end in my life...in three days I will be finished with Drama at St. Mikes forever. I'm not ready.

COW Of The Week

The oddest compliments Alex has ever received:
1. You were really pretty yesterday.
2. You played Anne Frank....and well she was pretty hot for a dead chick...so I guess that makes you pretty hot...for a dead chick.
3. I really like the whole dread lock thing you got going on with your hair.
4. The most envious part about you Alex is your sister.

I thought I knew ridiculous until today

So today I was walking in the hall, right past the teachers lounge, Susan was right behind me. I didn't turn around, but reached my hand out and grabbed Susan's hand. I walked about ten feet with her hand, when I turned around to talk to her. I looked up and there instead of Susan was a really tall guy. I had accident's grabbed his hand. I told him it was an accident and he just laughed. I told him it was all a huge mistake, and we both laughed. It was surprisingly funny.

Sunrise, Sunrise, Looks Like Morning In Your Eyes

I remind myself of a little daffodil. A creature that exists for the sun, and for beauty, and for the pleasure of little girls and grandma's everywhere. A creature with folds and petals so you really have to look deep to find the brightest colors of red and orange. A creature who is not associated with beauty, but gorgeous in its own right. A creature that always has its head facing the sun. A creature that always smiles even when it should frown.

Beam Me Up Scottie

So my Valentine's Day went as such: I woke up and had forgotten what day it was until Thales called and asked me what food went well with a berry pie. Me standing in my blue checkered Pajama's, with mascara under my eyes, and a loose pony tail in my hair: I told him I had no idea...after flipping through my "Cooking with Friends" cookbook, and consulting my mother, he had decided. It actually sounded quite good.

I then had tea with my grandparents, enough said. Spending V-day with old people is not on my top ten.

I went over to Brian's where he gave me "Startrek 101," and I got the inside info about his party. We watched a Startrek movie, one with the original cast. It was surprisingly good and funny (Nuclear wessels we need nuclear wessels) He gave me a whole case of Dr. Pepper and told me to drink it all, and pulled out heavily frosted cookies. It was actually a great way to ignore the slump I could have been in, in fact next time I break up with anyone I am going to Brian's.

I left Brian's-and this is where I hit my low- I went to baby-sit. I rang the doorbell walked in and there on the table were candles a heart shaped pizza, raspberry sparkling cider, Campaign glasses, and chocolate. I was a date for a five year old.

This probably would have been devastating if it had not been for the kindness of Sam Cridditen. He gave me a card that not only made me laugh, it made me feel a lot better about babysitting. But as a result I had an OK day, and only stuffed my face with chocolate once.

The Small Tiger

I wrote this poem in fourth grade, the art teacher didn't like it, but to this day I still consider it one of my works of genius!

Instead black it has white
it is not quite a fright.
it is small, meek, and loving to.
But very fast!
and sometime vast.
But when it sees its prey,
it usually runs away!
It is my cat Milo!

It's the Perfect Time of Year Somewhere Far Away From Here

In eighth grade I was extremely little, very skinny, had no idea what a hair brush was, and thought it was cool to wear baggy cloths. Beauty was not a word used often when if came to me. Yet when it comes to having some of the greatest memories of my life that is when they occurred. I had two very dear friends Susan and Anthony and a boy I was crazy about. I sat next to Eric every day in band, crossing my legs really cute like with my French horn across my lap. I never looked pretty, but I felt pretty. And I was loved by this boy for having a rockin' personality.

In tenth grade I finally grew into myself, I learned what a brush was as well as a curling iron, hair spray, curlers, and clips. I still had an odd sense of fashion but had grown into myself a bit better. I was pretty ( if I'm not to bold to say). I had become rather shy, realizing that boys were something that existed, and never dating before, I was becoming more and more concerned with my appearance. When Nick came into my life and asked me to homecoming. I had some of the most exciting memories of my life from here. This boy loved me for my beauty, but I was still loved.

In eleventh grade I grew more and became more self confident. I knew what I wanted to be and why I wanted to be it, I knew who I was and why. I was sure of my life and all of my actions. I was confident enough to make it known to Owen that I loved him, because of this I have some of the sweetest, moments of my life. I was loved once again, but this time for my confidence.

I would not give any of these years up, in fact I consider them vital to the person I am today. I am not as confident as I was last year, I now am unsure of some of the things I do. I am not as care free as I was in eight grade, I think before I talk, but I am not as shy as I was in tenth grade. I am not loved by any particular boy, but I can say that this year will hold some of the most hopeful memories of my life, and that I am truly loved, by my self. Which is goal I constantly strive for.

When I Wake Up

Don't you just hate that feeling when you wake up and have that excited feeling in the pit of your stomach? When you just feel like there is a spark, something that makes today different from any other day? When you have a desire to be the best you can be, have an unseen beauty? You don't know the reason at first and then it hits you...It's a uncertainty, a nervousness, its a boy. Yeah I don't either.

Oh how silly am I?

Yesterday

Several things happened to me yesterday, of which all where rather odd. I actually gave a decent talk in English, about my views on success, life, and happiness. I was terribly embarrassed when Sachi told me she wrote it all down, word for word. Miss Tapia told me my views were amazing and Thales says I'm truly mature, Ashley claimed them fantastic, yet I still can't comprehend what is so radical about wanting to be happy in whatever you do, and realizing that the time you have now may be all you ever get, so why not just enjoy it? I just assumed everyone strived for this.

Then I lost my gift to talk like I write when I ordered Pizza, loosing all ability to speak in English. I muttered something to the beautiful pizza man....What I am not sure, but the look I received was not reassuring.

And finally around nine o'clock I gained it back, and had an amazing conversation, where for once in my life, I said what I wanted to say when I wanted to say it, with no regrets. There was no stuttering, or long pauses, tears,or awkwardness, and in between talking of what was, we talked about movies, or college. There was no hatred, or love, no distress, or anger. There was just understanding, which is odd because no one else would ever understand how one could feel alright talking, so seriously, about what was.

Some words should never be spoken
some never silenced
pride is hardly broken
a connection has been mended
but not to some final end
I am still confused and broken
but now I know a final thought:
hate is not forever,
and anger can only last so long,
but a comfort is never ending,
and while I cannot give it
to those in the greatest need
I can at least offer
to repay what was given to me.

COW of the Week

The case this week is examining last years resolutions and see how they measure up. My first resolution was to listen more, I know personally I still chat a ridiculous amount when I shouldn't and I am dead silent when I should speak up. Though I feel overall what I want to say is getting heard more, although it will always be a constant goal of mine to be more assertive...In the right places. My second was to not socialize....Well obviously that didn't happen. The third was to not gossip, yeah obviously that did not happen either, but in all fairness to me I have learned more of what is appropriate to talk about and what is not. I still do not take vitamins (which was my fourth goal) and I stopped trying to make excuses. I feel I have started to eat better though, which was my fifth and final resolution.

It does not seem like I have been very successful, but when asked have I fulfilled my resolutions, the answer is yes. Because just realizing these events and concerns makes me more aware. I know that I don't want to be this type of person: a gossiping, bad eater, who never shuts up. But I feel that I am not therefore my resolutions are successful. At least that is my mind set, I am aware that I have bits of each in me still but I like to think of my self as: a good conversationalist, who's a social eater, and just has a lot to say.

And the new year begins.